Coded Soul Rebellious Spirit
Honestly it took some time to get to the point of actually putting this piece together. And it’s quiet funny hoe it morphed itself into this article, you’re reading now. It took some what of a juvenile breakdown and a major melt down via conference bbm with my girls. A life crisis is what I choose to call it. When you’ve worked so hard all your life to set the right blocks in place, to build what you knew for sure is what you’ve always wanted. Just to wake up one morning to realise that non of it really makes sense! What is this? What the hell am I doing? This definitely can’t be right…
Working towards what you definitely know is perfect for someone else and that someone else is certainly not you. It’s a tough one but, as dear Cocoa put it “Honey! It’s absolutely nothing. You work really hard and the prospect of unleashing your true potential is what’s making you freak out like this. All I’m saying is you’ll find yourself really depressed, if you keep getting yourself worked up about it.” Well, I don’t know if that’s exactly what she said but it sure sounded that way to me.
Of course this true but how does one even begin to tame a Lion?
And as I discovered speaking to a really good friend of mine, only to realise the tragic truth we’re both stuck in the, exact same situation. I impulsively suggested we take off on an adventurous Eat, Pray, Love journey like Elizabeth Gilbert, Bali Perhaps? If only…
Finding myself confronting what I was experiencing in someone else. What good was it for both of us to be moaning about it? A relentless beast, I tell you this thing called “fore sight”.
I suppose what one should always remember is that it’s absolutely okay not to know what you want at a specific point in time, (ant that’s what they don’t teach you at school kids!) and that should truly be embraced. Why else do we live if everything is meant to make sense, all the time? The sad part is we’re so pre conditioned by society to know: what you want, how to go about it – to make it happen. Plans to put in place, it never ends.
I don’t remember once being told to try and listen for my universal calling. I guess it’s perceived as wrong to try and cross over to the other side, slightly risky, being experimental just deciding to walk away from it all. Sometimes that’s the best thing one can do. Tame the Lion, cure the anxiety? Maybe, some times you’ve got just live in “I just don’t know state of being” and that’s okay (I’m learning).
In all reality some where a long the road we’ve lost signal and we can no longer hear ourselves, but that promotion coming up in six months. The prospects of holding on for another two years, for that break through. Listen very carefully, start hearing you again (you know what your universal calling is). Even if it means running away to Bali, Live!
A lesson I refuse to learn the hard way (for that I thank my “melt down”), decoding the complexities of one’s soul by being a rebellious spirit.