Archive for June, 2012


Bossip

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dang!

Johnny Depp and his long time partner Venessa Paradis have officially walked down spiltsville. We feel bad though cause they have been together for 14 years and she is a baby mama and all, but the man is fine!

RadarOnline.com reported on the split back in January though:

“Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have amicably separated. Please respect their privacy and, more importantly, the privacy of their children,” the actor’s publicist told Entertainment Tonight.

“Johnny isn’t handling anything well right now,” a source close to the Pirates of the Caribbean star previously told RadarOnline.com about how he was dealing with the stress of ending their relationship.

Johnny and Vanessa had been together for almost 15 years and have two children together, daughter Lily-Rose and son Jack, but they have been living separate lives and have not appeared together in months.

The former model walked the red carpet in Paris for her new movie Café de Flore alone back in January and Johnny carried out all of the promotion work for his movie Dark Shadows solo too.

However, despite not being spotted together for months, Vanessa and Johnny vehemently denied they had broken up, insisting all was well between them and not to believe “the lies.”

A source close to the Oscar nominated actor told RadarOnline.com back at the beginning of the year though that he had been taking careful steps to end the relationship.

“Johnny has started reaching out to lawyers, probably to quietly discuss how to get out of the relationship. They’re not married but they’ve been together for years and have kids together so it isn’t as easy as just breaking up,” the source said.

 

Well it seems Drake got a little too excited after drinking bottles of expensive booze and thought he really was a G from Harlem of something. Boy forgot he was from Canada.

According to news outlets, after running to Rihanna’s pad after the incident Drake sobbered up and realised that maybe just maybe he is not that hard. He has since stepped up security…lmao

We are definitely in the chill of winter and I am glad I am not in Johannesburg but Phalaborwa where I can still afford to walk around in my summer dress. My friend Thembi and I chat quite a bit about this weather and I never miss the opportunity to stick to her face and remind her she is stuck in the freezing cold up north.

We had our usual chats last night and in the middle of it she gave me the challenge to do a write-up about why women manage to get laid but struggle to keep or attract a long-lasting, committed relationship. I wasn’t sure why she was asking me because well I haven’t been single for about 3 years, in fact I am months away from marriage. Before this relationship I had about 2 years of play time after I came out of a 4 year relationship that started when I was 15.

So I thought I don’t really know why women can manage to get laid but never be in a lasting relationship. Even the guys during my 2 year play time were pretty good almost relationship, that would have been proper happy relationships had I given it the time.

But when I thought about I did realise that although I am blessed with a relationship that is heading towards lifetime commitment, I am still no different from every other woman in the world. The woman who sometimes doesn’t know what the hell she is doing so wrong in today’s reality of love and relationships with the opposite sex.

In my opinion women are taught from a young age how to find her future life partner. The difference in what each one grasps from these teachings though is the stage her mother or any other female figure is close to her at the time of growing up. Is she a disgruntled woman whose man left her broke and alone? Does she even know your father? Unhappy marriage perhaps? Or does she come from a loving marriage or commitment that allows her to be the best woman she can be.

This makes a difference because it instills in you the lessons to finding your partner. I told Thembi that based on this my opinion is that women manage to get laid but not in a long-lasting relationship because they do not know how to find or wait for the person that will be most compatible with her.

We all wish we could end up with Mr Charming, who looks right, smells right, has the right money and comes from the right family.

But this is not how life works because sometimes that Mr Charming is so wrong for you. He may not like seeing a woman lying around the lounge in her pyjamas on a Sunday morning eating a tub of ice cream, he may hate a girlfriend you have had since High School simply because she wears really short skirts sometimes, he may even despise the fact that sometimes you love your work more than anything in the world. Sure you will get some lovely Mandingo from him for a while maybe years even, but you will feel it in your soul that he is not right for you.

I think women have become so obsessed with numbers that claim that the number of men in the world is shrinking and finding a good man will be almost impossible. I disagree with that because if there are still men to be friend zoned then there are definitely good men out there. Instead we run after what is pop culture and we create a list that has nothing to do with the core person to meet this pop culture’s conditions. We say to ourselves the man I end up with must earn so much a year, must drive this car, live in this neighbourhood and have this qualification. But what does any of this have to do with his core self, and how does his core self match with what your core self deserves in a life partner?

The guys that we filter through according to our list have also smartened up to the fact that women have this list in the first place. They understand why they managed to get in the cookie jar and will act accordingly, leaving you as the women with very little power. This is when you agree to be friends with benefits when you are really looking for a husband, you agree to be girl on the side because he bought you a nice car (probably in his name though).

We have willingly given away our God-given power of control, of insight and having the bone of making the right decisions. We believe in movies that tell us to act like a woman and think like a man (impossible) and we now model ourselves after women on tv who got their hired men because of looks. And most women will remain in an empty relationship or even bed for as long as she does not accept that she holds the power of finding or meeting the man most compatible and perfect for her…

You have been friend zoned my friend…

There are few things in this game of love that is more brutal than being friend zoned. The feeling of being so close yet so far…so so far…Let me relate my story that inspired this discovery…

A close friend of mine, (let’s call her Thami …) just recently discovered how painfully salty being steadily place in friend zone truly is.

See a couple of months ago she met a Dashing Mixed Breed; half DRC, half something more exotic. Thami was of course immediately attracted to him, but was still getting over the betrayals of her now ex –boyfriend that has left her shattered by the hurt for years. This meant she had no time or energy for love and friend zoned the Dashing Mixed Breed by the way happened to be a really good guy.

Dashing Mixed Breed was friend zoned hard too. She told him in a rather blatant manner that she was still in love with her ex and eventually started ignoring his phone calls.

Thami continued to date other dashing so and so’s, months went by and one by one; they managed to steal her belief in real honest love. She does think about Dashing Mixed Breed often and eventually reached out to him.

What they meet for the very first coffee in months, he was naturally a little cold towards her. He was trying to figure out her angle but only saw someone with the potential to break his heart. Thami sure felt the rejection but was determined to do whatever it took to gain his romantic interest back; even sex.

The second meeting was some lunch where during the hearty meal Dashing Mixed Breed invited Thami to church. CHURCH…!

First off Thami has not been to church since Matric which is about 8 years ago! This is insane; but she had promised herself she will win Dashing Mixed Breed back no matter what, if it will score her points she will do it even if it means going to Church.

She let out a sigh of relief when the pastor said sermon over but disbelieve when Dashing Mixed Breed invited her to church again next Sunday. My friend has unfortunately been friend zoned. Unless of course Dashing Mixed Breed likes to handle his relations very slowly.

I couldn’t help but laugh, cause I too know too well how being friend zoned leaves you. You are left asking yourself what is so wrong with you that the person you want, wants you as a friend. The other disgusting that about it is that being friend zoned is barely about your looks, but goes a little deeper. Your conquest is basically telling you “ I want you in my life just not like that”.

You are left hoping that you could change this somewhere down the line; that he will see how awesome you are and want you as his girl. But you actually are left holding the candle in many a movie nights with his girlfriend.

Being friend zoned is tough and in my opinion the only way to survive it is to accept it and keep it moving…

Bossip

Fans of pioneering Marvel Comics character Black Panther have been anticipating a big screen adaptation of the story of the African warrior

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Rumours have been  going around for weeks that Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou are divorcing. Well apparently its not a divorce because they never married in the first place…

In happier times…

According to the NY Daily News:

Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou aren’t as committed to each other as they used to be.
A source close to the couple tells us the glamazon and her “Gladiator” beau have split after a “big fight over money.”
“Djimon walked out on Kimora,” says the source, who adds that the split may have been prompted by Simmons’ ex-husband, hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons ’ decision to stop funding the pair’s lifestyle.
St. Louis-born “Kimora lives as if she’s the Queen of England,” notes the source, although there’s at least one sign her life in the fab lane may be slowing to a crawl.

Big Brother Beauty

Big Brother Stargame housemate Moneta Mazanhi has allegedly been disowned by her Zimbabwean businessman “boyfriend” Wicknell Chivayo who is said to have business interests in some very lucrative pots.

Chivayo has laughed off the claims and says he is in fact not seeing the 21 year old beauty; he was qouted saying “I am flabbergasted by her assertions. If indeed that’s what she said her claims are absurd. I am sick and tired of girls seeking greener pastures going around saying I am in love with them,” DAMN Wicknell!

Many people belive that Maneta may just be playing the Big Brother game by letting big names slip  out her mouth as it could score her points.

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The unemployment rate is defined as the number of people actively looking for a job as a percentage of the labour force, in South Africa it currently stands at about 23,9% a daunting number indeed. Some would take it as far as to say we are in a crisis that threatens to destabilise society as a whole.

I somewhat believe this, I have seen friends who are terrified to lose their jobs or even look for something better in fear that they will destabilise their economic security, and possibly join the unemployed numbers.

Kids who have just finished Matric or Varsity and do not have jobs use social networks such as Twitter to keep each other entertained throughout the day, using tags like #TeamUnemployed. It is a sad reality for millions of people in the country.

However I do wonder if our country’s problem really is unemployment or more an issue of a lack of employable people.

Employability according to Wikipedia refers to a person’s ability for gaining and maintaining employment. For individuals it depends on the knowledge, skills and abilities possessed, the way they present those assets to employers and the context within which they seek work. As such employability is affected by both supply side and demand side factors which are often outside of an individual’s control.

To my understanding this essentially means that the person looking for a job would need to have the aptitude to be able to sell their experience and skills to a potential employer and meet the said employers needs right?

But how does one with a Matric pass rate of 30% do this? How does someone with the literacy level of a Grade 7 student manage to even identify their skills in the first place??

My argument is that perhaps the problem is not so much that there are no jobs out there for people, but more that the people are simply not skilled in being able to sell themselves to employers in an effective way that would have them bag that particular job.

How can this be fixed though? This is where I feel a problem presents itself because in a country as diverse as South Africa a one size fits all approach will not suffice. But the obvious solutions include improving education, self-esteem and self-worth in individuals and helping them from a young age identify their talents. This goes a long way in helping filter someone into a job or career that fits with them and therefore makes it easier for them to sell their skills.

The solution I believe lies with all of us who have been priviledged enough to enter the workforce and understand what is required to be a successful employee, entreprenuer and one day hopefully employer

 

 

 

 

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