Category: The Debate Room

We are definitely in the chill of winter and I am glad I am not in Johannesburg but Phalaborwa where I can still afford to walk around in my summer dress. My friend Thembi and I chat quite a bit about this weather and I never miss the opportunity to stick to her face and remind her she is stuck in the freezing cold up north.

We had our usual chats last night and in the middle of it she gave me the challenge to do a write-up about why women manage to get laid but struggle to keep or attract a long-lasting, committed relationship. I wasn’t sure why she was asking me because well I haven’t been single for about 3 years, in fact I am months away from marriage. Before this relationship I had about 2 years of play time after I came out of a 4 year relationship that started when I was 15.

So I thought I don’t really know why women can manage to get laid but never be in a lasting relationship. Even the guys during my 2 year play time were pretty good almost relationship, that would have been proper happy relationships had I given it the time.

But when I thought about I did realise that although I am blessed with a relationship that is heading towards lifetime commitment, I am still no different from every other woman in the world. The woman who sometimes doesn’t know what the hell she is doing so wrong in today’s reality of love and relationships with the opposite sex.

In my opinion women are taught from a young age how to find her future life partner. The difference in what each one grasps from these teachings though is the stage her mother or any other female figure is close to her at the time of growing up. Is she a disgruntled woman whose man left her broke and alone? Does she even know your father? Unhappy marriage perhaps? Or does she come from a loving marriage or commitment that allows her to be the best woman she can be.

This makes a difference because it instills in you the lessons to finding your partner. I told Thembi that based on this my opinion is that women manage to get laid but not in a long-lasting relationship because they do not know how to find or wait for the person that will be most compatible with her.

We all wish we could end up with Mr Charming, who looks right, smells right, has the right money and comes from the right family.

But this is not how life works because sometimes that Mr Charming is so wrong for you. He may not like seeing a woman lying around the lounge in her pyjamas on a Sunday morning eating a tub of ice cream, he may hate a girlfriend you have had since High School simply because she wears really short skirts sometimes, he may even despise the fact that sometimes you love your work more than anything in the world. Sure you will get some lovely Mandingo from him for a while maybe years even, but you will feel it in your soul that he is not right for you.

I think women have become so obsessed with numbers that claim that the number of men in the world is shrinking and finding a good man will be almost impossible. I disagree with that because if there are still men to be friend zoned then there are definitely good men out there. Instead we run after what is pop culture and we create a list that has nothing to do with the core person to meet this pop culture’s conditions. We say to ourselves the man I end up with must earn so much a year, must drive this car, live in this neighbourhood and have this qualification. But what does any of this have to do with his core self, and how does his core self match with what your core self deserves in a life partner?

The guys that we filter through according to our list have also smartened up to the fact that women have this list in the first place. They understand why they managed to get in the cookie jar and will act accordingly, leaving you as the women with very little power. This is when you agree to be friends with benefits when you are really looking for a husband, you agree to be girl on the side because he bought you a nice car (probably in his name though).

We have willingly given away our God-given power of control, of insight and having the bone of making the right decisions. We believe in movies that tell us to act like a woman and think like a man (impossible) and we now model ourselves after women on tv who got their hired men because of looks. And most women will remain in an empty relationship or even bed for as long as she does not accept that she holds the power of finding or meeting the man most compatible and perfect for her…



This pic has such a 1976 feel to it…tehehehe

I first heard of this youth subsidy that President Jacob Zuma plans to introduce earlier this week, I wasnt listening attentevily so I basically made my own conclusions to what it was, and the one that made sense for Zuma to come up with is a sort of grant for unemployed youth. Thank God I was wrong.

It seems the subsidy is a sort of tax incentive from government to employers that employ and unemployed youth under the age of 35. This is in a bid to minimize the risk for employers who take on inexperienced youths by giving them tax breaks.

Cosatu and the DA seem to be on opposite ends about this however, with the DA for and Cosatu against the policy.

Cosatu’s argument:

  • This is SA after all, what stops an employer from firing all older workers and hiring only under 35’s to maximise tax breaks?
  • What is older workers are prejudiced against with the youth standing a higher payment chance?
  • The youth stand to be exploited….HA??

The DA’s argument:

  • The DA’s argument is really just with Cosatu, they feel that Cosatu is stifling growth by rejecting such policies.

The DA basically resorted to taking to the streets, marching to the Cosatu house where as we saw on the news voilence broke out. What I also found a little strange is the number of black DA members that were on the streets, I refuse to believe that the DA is now majority black. I find myself agreeing with Cosatu who said the DA is misleading the people.

But the crux of it right now  seems to be that the DA is agreeing with the ANC on policy. But whether this is genuine or in hopes the ANC finds itself with egg on the face is yet to be seen.
You gotta love South African politics…. What do you think? is introduce a youth wage subsidy a good or bad idea?

Kim ‘I wish I were black’ Kardashian

This debate has been going on for years, granted its mostly an American issue but as the world becomes more globalised, we has Africans find ourselves dealing with the same issue too. Black men wanting white women, and the white women actually wanting all the perks of being a black woman without actually being black.

I have never really cared for the debate really, and actually find it flattering that some white woman thinks a big ass and titty’s and a slightly darker skin is sexier than when they were born with. If in the process she bags herself a black man, well good for her, it’s not like I was going to end up with him.

I’m not sure why we as black women feel so dis-empowered when white women try to be us. I mean at the end of the day YOU are the real thing right?

I suppose maybe its the reasons our black brothers will give for preferring the white women over us: they not loud or argumentative, are a little more freaky in bed and submissive etc.

Well to me that is bullshit…if a particular guy brings these as the issues or you as a black woman have a problem because of these issues than frankly you’ll are the ones with the problem, because not all black women are loud or don’t know how to get their freak on.

So when Kim Kardashian made headlines again for tanning her skin to be more black, I couldn’t give two shits. We already know she loves her some black man and woman for that matter.

Do you think this is an issue we should just be getting over as a 21st century people or does it bother you some?


Need parking space?

Have you ever wondered just where exactly the money you pay for parking tickets everytime you go to the mall or enclosed building goes too, heck you fork out money for even parking on the side of the road. I’ve heard people say it goes to Jewish cartels who own the parking lots.

Well according to a report by the business day; The City of Johannesburg only gets about 20 to 40%  of the income generated from kerbside parking with the rest going to contractor Ace Parking.

This percentage is also dependant on whether the suburb has potential to rake in higher or lower income.

Kerbside parking will now also be introduced to several suburbs across the City as of the 1st of June 2012. It includes Rosebank, Sandton, Greenside, Craighall Park and Northcliff.

Is will cost you R8 an hour to park by the kerb for a month, and increase to R8.50 by the 1st of July.

Businesses in the areas that will be affected are already complaining about this, and say consumers will be chased away if they now have to pay for kerbside parking.

Lets talk about this…First of where the hell do these people think we work that we can afford to pay R8 an hour everytime we park on the side of the road? What happens to the thousands of car park attendants and their jobs?




Will we see the end of the world in our lifetime??

I have had the conversation with friends on when the end of the world will come sveral times and usually it is when most of them are intoxicated. We ask ourselves wether it will really be 2012 or is that number just a figment of someone’s very active imagination.


Well according to Ipsos Global Public Affairs who conducted a poll for Reuters, nearly 15% of people worldwide really believe the world will end during their lifetime and 10% agree with the Mayan calander that the world will end this year!

Responses to the international poll of 16,262 people in more than 20 countries varied widely with only six percent of French residents believing in an impending Armageddon in their lifetime, compared to 22 percent in Turkey and the United States and slightly less in South Africa and Argentina.

But only seven percent in Belgium and eight percent in Great Britain feared an end to the world during their lives.

About one in 10 people globally also said they were experiencing fear or anxiety about the impending end of the world in 2012. The greatest numbers were in Russia and Poland, the fewest in Great Britain.

Ipsos questioned people in China, Turkey, Russia, Mexico, South Korea, Japan, the United States, Argentina, Hungary, Poland, Sweden, France, Spain, Belgium, Canada, Australia, Italy, South Africa, Great Britain, Indonesia, Germany.

Only one African country in the poll ha?

The end is near…

So what do you think ? when do you expect the end of us to be?

Remember that song: Senzeni na, Senzeni na? Senzeni na, Senzeni na? It seems it’s still very relevant if you skin tone happens to be darker than let’s say your white counterpart.

This song which became popular in basically every township in South Africa during the apartheid era, repeats the questions “what have done”, and a new report is once again showing that all we have done is have the audacity to be born black …and perhaps being a little stingy too.

Bad Service for us darkies

Bad Service for us darkies

According to a survey on waiters in the United States nearly two fifths of them admitted to treating customers differently depending on their race. (oh the shock…YAWN)

And as many as 90 percent even go as far as to say they have participated in or overhead racially charged conversations among co-workers.

The study published in the Journal of Black Studies show that waiters perceive blacks to be less polite than others, while others say we generally tip less than other races.

So what do you think? Is the study accurate even in the African context? I know I don’t agree with the tipping part, because I always tip 10% of my total bill.

Do they really look like they dont tip?? or are rude??!

Do they really look like they dont tip?? or are rude??!

And what I find is even worse for us in Africa is that a lot of the time the people serving us are our fellow brothers and sisters who still treat us like shit.

So what is the solution? Is there a solution or will we as black people just always be damned?

Lets take it to the debate room…